So today is the big day. First day in 6 months that I will be meeting with an actual doctor about my condition. My hopes aren’t high as I am waiting to hear the same thing I have been hearing for 10 years, “we don’t know whats wrong with you.” I have a lot of questions and I am sure I won’t get many answers, but its the next steps to a solution or an answer. All I can do is keep fighting and keep demanding answers. I have come to the conclusion after 11 years of pain and the unknown that there may not be an answer as to why I have this condition, but at the end of the day its not the why, its the how and what the future has to hold. I also can’t keep up this no Vitamin K diet…gaining nothing but protein weight without the ability to work out is frustrating enough and having to ask my family to change their diet isn’t ideal.
In other news, soon I will be making the video for the CVA (Concerved Veterans of America) as the day gets closer I pray and hope that the words that I say are conveyed in a way that sends not only my message and concerns, but also shows to those that will listen that this is a real problem that can be fixed. Emotions are high for me concerning this video because it is an opportunity to say what really needs to be said, I only hope and pray that people listen.
As for my next steps with PTSD, I have now an ongoing session once a month to talk about my PTSD and its affects of my life. Someone said the other day that I need to write a book, I don’t think I would know where to start, my life to me isn’t that interesting, but it seems people want to hear about it. But at the end of the day I have to ask myself, will a book about my life and PTSD help another soldiers? I guess that’s where I start.
My thoughts are really all over the place today. I received an email a short time ago from someone at CVA asking if I wanted to have dinner with the CEO of CVA. I am floored to think that someone of that caliber would want to speak to me. In a sense I never thought my words were loud enough and I can only think God that they are.
So Step 2, VA doctor to get answers, PTSD doctor to get help, CVA to convey my message, then to fix the world.LOL