Time is the one thing in this world we all want more of and seem to fall short of having enough of. Many feel that time is moving faster as the days before moved slower. I think we are just more aware today then we used to be and we are more connected which makes the days go by faster.
While I served this country my time was spent training hard, learning new tactics, and growing a family of service members that, then I didn’t know, but now I know would be apart of my life forever. My time before February of 2004 was spent enjoying life and trying to live it to the fullest. I did’t care much about safety because I was resilient and I pushed my body to points that I never imagined that it would go. After February of 2004 that mind set changed slightly where I was under the constant thought that my life would be over because of this disorder I had, but in September of 2006 I was told I was all clear and that the disorder was gone. So my life changed back and I pushed forward with more gym time, going for my Air Assault Badge, becoming a modern Army Comparatives Trainer, only to find out that in May of 2007, the disorder would come back. So I was back on the rebound again, being cautious of everything I was doing. Then I was cleared and deployed again, but the disorder kept coming back.
In July of 2014, my life took an even more sharp turn in the fight for my time. Another clot formed and I was told to be on medicine for life. As I continue to fight the VA and try to find the time to not only take care of my health, my family, my motorcycle ministry, my fellow Veterans and anyone else that needs my help, one thing is for certain, I live life now on the basis of, when. I tell family and friends that my condition isn’t a matter of if it will happen, but when it will happen. When I say this to doctors they tell me that I shouldn’t worry so much, that I am safe on the medicine. Lets look at the facts people. I was 23 years old when the disorder came without warning and without knowledge. I have been treated for 6 separate blood clots in 11 years. Since being put on Warfarin I have gained over 20 pounds, I have High Cholesterol, Borderline Diabetic and I can barely walk. And I have nothing to worry about. That’s like telling someone with stage 4 cancer that there’s nothing to worry about. I would probably sleep better if I knew the exact reason I now have a disorder that I have no idea how I received it, why a 23 year old health Army solider has it, and why it can’t even be traced back to my family. Plus tell someone that ran Track for 7 years and loves to run that they can’t do that anymore and you don’t know why.
Time….some have endless amounts of time, but those that spend it wisely will have less, because they spend it in a way that suites them. My time will be short, but while that time is short, so will my wait to be with Jesus, the one that keeps me here to do His work. I honestly believe we are here to do His work. The stories of miracle and people cheating death are just ways the Jesus says, “nope, not your time.” My time is not now, but I know when it is, Jesus will cure me and I will be able to run among the stars. I have many purposes and one of those is to my fellow Veterans who don’t have enough time left, to those that have had time taken away from them and those that wish for more time.
Time…..This is in your hands, you choose how you spend it and who gets it. Spend it wisely in the comfort of Jesus.